i inadvertently showed my big, white, pimply bum to a group of cruel and unforgiving teenagers recently. it was supposed to be a bonding thing between me and my mum -- jumping off this cliff into the water -- it's just that i had been swimming in a dress (because i left my suit in san diego), without underwear (because it was really hot out), and because the swimming-in-the-dress had gone so well, and it was now so heavy and clingy and long, i didn't think twice about climbing the cliff and jumping off.
so mum and i jumped, and as i was falling and shrieking, i was also forgetting about wind pressure, and my dress, that i had been swimming in, that had felt so securely heavy and long, flew up around my ears and i lost my mystery, as they say.
it makes me laugh to think about it even today, although i can only imagine what the 15 year old boys who were swimming there must have thought about a giant, cellulite-y, 31 year old bum descending on them from on high.
ha!
but this brings me to my topic. i'm getting old and mushy and... strangely 'detachable'. (and no, this doesn't mean that i'm finally realising my dream of becoming a Transformer, or of having removable breasts.)
it isn't enough that i can feel the fat on my lower arms wobble when i wave, or that my neck creases when i turn it, no. each morning i suffer the indignity of rolling up my boobs and folding them neatly into my bra, and you'd think it would stop there, but it doesn't: recently i've become aware that if i sit in a chair and twist around to look behind me, my skeletal frame twists, but my hip fat stays where it is, forming this attractive vertical crease up my side. my fat is no longer willing to perform even the most basic courtesy of following the rest of my body.
it's taking over, and it has a mind of its own.
3 comments:
I relate my knee popped for no reason when I was walking up some stairs. It was like some one hit it with a ballpeen (sp?) hammer. I felt very old. It's didn't help that I was surrounded by KIDS.
Äh, I gotta say... I'm (the same age as you two and) feeling pretty good! Mind you, I'm on the Berlin Poverty and Bicycle diet, meditating, doing the odd yoga, all of the good things I started doing...just coming into 30.
STILL, I will say this: I used to be a big tough idiot who never wore hats or took any kind of medicine when he was sick. Well SCREW THAT. Anna, I hear you chanting "hat hat hat" in my ear and I'm bloody listening. And if medicine will speed my recoverytime, wow, that's just so 21st century cool.
And with that, I'm hittin' the road.
Pimply? Really? Ewwww....
i'm 11 haha!
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